cosmic carousal

2008-08-23T11:20:00.002-03:00

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

2008-07-09T07:29:00.008-03:00

The Spagnostics and the Pastafarians follow the Spaghedeity and believe in the sanctity of pirates. What's not to like?!

More info: Homepage: http://www.venganza.org/

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

Sept 19th is coming fast.

It's been 46 years in the making...

2008-07-08T07:27:00.007-03:00

... but Jesus has finally come out with a rebuttal to John Lennon.

Lennon had made very controversial comments back in 1966 regarding the waning popularity of Jesus and the Catholic church.

Jesus had been slow to reply, first allowing Republicans to have their say. But it turned out the Beatles were more popular than Republicans and the sarcasm of Lennon's comments was allowed to be understood. Lennon's comments soon drifted into popular culture...

... and then even into academic culture, as hippies soon became professors. (Yes, you need this for a quality education.)

But with the death of George Carlin, who made a few suggestions for Jesus' reply as the priest in Dogma, Jesus has released this statement:

"Who's bigger than Jesus now, John?! Who's bigger than Jesus now?"

A 441 Word Alliteration on the letter W

2008-07-07T21:30:00.004-03:00

The following story, entitled Winnie and Walter, was published sometime in the 19th century by an unknown author. It's a bit of a tongue twister. And it might not make sense on one read (so read it again, Scallywag)

Winnie and Walter

“Warm weather, Walter! Welcome warm weather! We were wishing winter would wane, weren’t we?” “We were well wearied with waiting,” whispered Waiter wearily. Wan, white, woe-begone was Walter; wayward, wilful, worn with weakness, wasted, waxing weaker whenever winter’s wild, withering winds were wailing. Wholly without waywardness was Winifred, Walter’s wise, womanly watcher, who, with winsome, wooing way, was well-beloved.

“We won’t wait, Walter; while weather’s warm we’ll wander where woodlands wave, won’t we?”

Walter’s wanton wretchedness wholly waned. “Why, Winnie, we’ll walk where we went when we were with Willie; we’ll weave wildflower wreaths, watch woodmen working; woodlice, worms wriggling; windmills whirling; watermills wheeling; we will win wild whortleberries, witness wheat winnowed.”

Wisbeach woods were wild with wildflowers; warm, westerly winds whispered where willows were waving; wood-pigeons, wrens, woodpeckers were warbling wild woodnotes. Where Wisbeach water-mill’s waters, which were wholly waveless, widened, were waterlilies, waxen white. Winifred wove wreaths with woodbine, whitehorn, wallflowers; whilst Walter whittled wooden wedges with willow wands.

Wholly without warning, wild wet winds woke within Wisbeach woods, whistling where Winifred wandered with Walter; weeping willows were wailing weirdly; waging war with wind-tossed waters. Winifred’s wary watchfulness waked.

“Walter, we won’t wait.”
“Which way, Winnie?”

Winifred wavered. “Why, where were we wandering? Wisbeach woods widen whichever way we walk. Where’s Wisbeach white wicket, where’s Winston’s water-mill?”

WistfuIly, Walter witnessed Winifred’s wonder. “Winnie, Winnie, we were wrong, wholly wrong; wandering within wild ways. Wayfaring weather-beaten waifs, well-nigh worn-out.”

Winifred waited where, within wattled woodwork walls, waggons, wheelbarrows, wains were waiting, weighty with withered wood. Walter, warmly wrapped with Winifred’s well-worn wadded waterproof, was wailing woefully, wholly wearied. Winnie, who, worn with watching, well-nigh weeping, was wistfully, wakefully waiting Willie’s well-known whistle, wholly wished Walter’s well-being warranted.

With well-timed wisdom, Walter was wound with wide, worsted wrappers, which wonderfully well withstood winter’s withering, whistling winds. Wholly without warm wrappers was Winifred, who, with womanly wisdom, was watching Walter’s welfare, warding Walter’s weakness.

“When will Willie wend where we wait?” wearily wondered Walter.
“Whist, Walter,” whispered Winnie, “who was whooping?”
“Whereabouts?”

Welcome whistling was waking Wisbeach woods when winter’s windy warfare waxed weaker.

“Winnie! Walter!”

Winifred’s wakefulness was well-grounded. “We’re well, Willie; we’re where Winston’s waggons wait.”

Without waiting, Willie was within Winston’s woodwork walls.

“Welcome, welcome, Willie.” Winnie was weeping with weariness with watching Walter, weak with wayfaring.

“Why Winnie! Wise, watchful, warm-hearted Winnie,” Willie whispered wheedlingly. “We won’t weep; Walter’s well. What were Walter without Winnie?”

Wholly wonderful was Winifred’s well-timed womanly wisdom, which well warranted weakly Walter’s welfare. Whenever wandering within Wisbeach woods with Winnie, Walter would whisper, “What were Walter without Winnie? Wise, watchful, warm-hearted Winnie!”

The Church of Vader

2008-07-03T20:57:00.002-03:00

Who knew sunscreen could be scary

2008-07-03T11:39:00.004-03:00

This is not cool. Especially since I already bought my sunscreen quota for the summer.

Many Sunscreens Ineffective, Group SaysAdvocacy Group Says Many Popular Sunscreens Offer Inadequate Sun Protection, Calls On FDA To Implement Label Changes
(WebMD) An environmental research and advocacy group claims that four out of five brand-name sunscreens either provide inadequate sun protection or contain chemicals that may be unsafe, but industry representatives strongly dispute the charge.... (continue)

There is a list of the different products they believe to be 'safe' at the bottom of the article. Scallywag.

Rod Stewart Story of the Month

2008-07-03T09:21:00.003-03:00

Let us pretend this was a few days ago.

Rod Stewart is Mad about Models. And Not the Kind he's Been Known to Marry.
by jgr80

Rod Stewart, or Mr. Stewart (as he's known to his butler), has an unhealthy obsession with model trains. In the December 2007 issue of Model Railroader, Stewart said "It means more to me to be on the cover of Model Railroader than to be on the cover of a music magazine."

during a 63-show North American tour in 2007, Stewart relocated his wife Penny Lancaster, the couple's toddler son Alistair, and seven massive traveling cases of model kits and tools to a suite of rooms in Chicago. From this central location, he flew to each night's show. After the performance, a limo would rush him back to the airport where his private jet would be waiting. After a quick flight back to Chicago and a few hours rest, Stewart would be up bright and early and busy at his model railroad workbench. Stewart said he could usually manage a few hours of steady model building each morning before setting aside his tools and spending the remainder of the day with his wife and son.

This is the rockstar lifestyle people dream of... I mean who needs to sleep when you get to spend more time with the models you build instead of the models you marry. Dude is compensating for something.

The guy has a 23 x 124-foot (2852 sq ft?!?!) 1940s version model railway of the New York and Pennsylvania Railroads in his California home. AND he has the East Coast British line in his UK home.

This video is from the fellas who did the article. I really don't even have to say anything about it. It makes fun of itself.

This just in.

2008-07-03T08:39:00.003-03:00

These quickie news channels really need more communication between the ad department and the news department.

Happy Canada Day, Mats Sundin.

2008-07-01T06:11:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

For some Canadians (I certainly feel a divide on this one), July 1st is a day to celebrate for a reason other than our nation's birth.

Those same Canadians may also be quite upset for the same reason.... Perplexed? Well, clearly it's unrestricted free agent day in the NHL. Something nearly as important as Canada Day to die-hard hockey fans.

Now a lot of people will be talking about Marian Hossa. A lot of people will be talking about Brian Campbell... and while I like both of these players, don't be fooled. The big name is my boy Mats.

I've had a lot of people annoy the crap out of me the last two weeks or so with the silly dialogue about Mats vs. TML vs. Montreal Girlymen. The headline and a few sentences in this article from this morning suggest Mats won't sign with Montreal, although there is clearly some doubt in the rest of the article. Hell, we may find out in the next couple of hours.

Well, I quite like the graceful slide of a Sundin stride down the ice towards a Montreal net. That is, while he's playing offense for the Leafs, rather than defense for Les Habitants (which is stupidest name in all of professional sports... even worse than all those silly Major League soccer teams like the New York Red Bulls, or the Columbus Crew, or the Football Club Dallas).

No. I will take the high-road on this one. Mats is/was an excellent player for Toronto and does/did a lot of great things for the team. The only negative thing I will say is that if he signs with Montreal he is a scum-sucking vaginoplasty patient who deserves to burn for deserting-- nay betraying-- the cause of all-things-Montreal-must-perish-from-horrible-sports-related-injuries. You already found out early in your career Quebec is not the place for a Swede. If you don't play for Toronto, go somewhere else or may all the wrath of Toronto fans follow you around like a plague throughout the league. There will be curses laid on all things Sundin and all things Montreal throughout the land. The permanent place you've earned among the verdant fields of Elysium will be replaced by the 8th circle of Hell.

But I'm not bitter.

In Korea, there are far too many people of the same name for Westerners to keep things straight. So rather than embarrass myself while I was teaching over there-- just like all the other teachers-- I gave them Western names. I named a lot of them after friends and family... named a lot of them after cartoon characters and comic book characters... but my favorite little guy didn't get an English at all. He was of Swedish-Korean decent and was named Mats. He didn't know a word of English when he started. He knew at least 13 words a lesson.

It would be a cold day in Elysium if I were not able to cheers for Mats Sundin.

More goals than Teemu Selanne, Ron Francis, Rocket Richard, Jean Beliveau, or Daryl Sittler.
More assists than Chris Chelios, Niklas Lidstrom, Larry Robinson, or Jean Beliveau.
None of it means a thing with that other sweater on.

$7 a gallon in US? So like $2 a litre in Canada?

2008-06-27T06:36:00.004-03:00

OOOH Snap! I guess not having a car because of having no money all these years was really the smartest idea after all. That's right. Snap.

As oil hits $140, a new low for Detroit

GREG KEENAN

From Friday's Globe and Mail

June 26, 2008 at 9:02 PM EDT

Chrysler LLC trotted out celebrated retired chairman Lee Iacocca to rally employee spirits on Thursday, but investors were more interested in bankruptcy rumours that continued to haunt the auto maker and yet another fresh high for energy prices that are pounding the entire industry...

...The Detroit auto makers are reeling from a collapse in sales of pickup trucks and sport utility vehicles in the U.S. market amid gasoline prices above $4 a gallon and the U.S. real estate collapse.

It could get even worse, CIBC World Markets Inc. economists Jeff Rubin and Benjamin Tal warned Thursday, saying that gasoline could surge to $7 a gallon, which will cause Americans to abandon some of their vehicles and send sales through the floor.

What we need here is some real initiative and imagination.

That's the one. Only the best news gathering skills.

And so what if I was gone for a few days.

A possible answer to the sneaky sea sneakers... with feet in BC?

2008-06-21T17:19:00.005-03:00

I bet the B.C. Coastal feet come from Russia. I've heard the mob over there is particularly brutal.

Check this out.

Cows Ice Cream named Best in the World.

2008-06-21T16:35:00.009-03:00

Chewing the frozen cud...

Cows Ice Cream -- an Island staple since 1983-- was recently named "Best in the World" by Tauck World Discovery.

Notice the description of why it's better than the others.

The ice cream has "high-quality ingredients and a lusciously high butterfat content (16%) to craft rich, whimsically-themed flavors."

Mmmm, I loves me some butterfat. That sounds so appetizing.

In fact, me gonna have some right now.

The last thing Obama needs is to discriminate.

2008-06-19T10:56:00.003-03:00

by jgr80

Given the charged debate around racial and gender lines during the primaries, Obama might be treading on thin ice with this...

Workers Bar Muslim Women From Obama Backdrop

Posted Jun 18, 08 2:53 PM CDT in Politics
(Newser) – Two Muslim women were barred from sitting behind Barack Obama during a rally Monday, with campaign volunteers concerned about headscarves appearing on TV and in pictures, Politico reports. (continue...)

Isn't he campaigning on the promise of change?! This seems like the status quo political positioning. What kind of change is he looking for if not an end to stereotypes? What about the stereotype that a black man can't be President? Just a little hypocritical.

Although he is still the lesser of two evils.

Man caught bringing 9 grams of marijuana into prison wrapped around penis claims misunderstanding.

2008-06-19T10:08:00.005-03:00

Every once and a while, there is some interesting news in Nova Scotia.

Police catch man who hid marijuana around penis

PAUL MCLEOD, METRO HALIFAX

June 17, 2008 05:00

Getting caught with marijuana by police is bad enough. But the drug arrest of John Christopher Williams, 34, was particularly embarrassing.
Williams has a lengthy criminal record and had failed to show up for court dates more than once, leading to a warrant for his arrest. When police found and arrested him they didn’t find any drugs on him and Williams didn’t say anything.
It was only when he was being checked in to prison that guards discovered nine grams of marijuana wrapped around his penis. Williams says it was all a misunderstanding.
He appeared yesterday in Dartmouth Provincial Court under charges of smuggling drugs into prison.
His lawyer said Williams now realizes he should have told police about the pot sooner. He was sentenced to thirty days in prison.

Hhhmmm... a clever one-liner to appropriately make fun and demonstrates insight....

'During the frisking, guards found the drugs when Williams got a spliffy.'

Yup, that oughta do it.

I always heard the best pot was in jail, anyway. Listen to Ricky about 30 sec into the clip.

The coolest thing ever contest has a winner.

2008-06-18T02:00:00.000-03:00

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

This has to be a joke.

2008-06-17T15:30:00.002-03:00

Another foot finds its way to the BC shoreline.

CNEWS reports:

Fifth human foot in one year washes ashore along B.C. coast
By THE CANADIAN PRESS
VANCOUVER - A fifth human foot has washed ashore in southwestern B.C., and this time it's a left one.

Police say two people out for a walk spotted a left foot floating in water off Westham Island on Monday morning. Four other feet have washed up on shorelines along islands in B.C. in the last year; all have been right feet wearing socks and shoes. (continue...)

Looks like they will have to reopen the case of the sneaky washed up sneakers... with feet.

"If you build them, we will put them in jail."

2008-06-16T18:00:00.001-03:00

by jgr80

The International Centre for Prison Studies released this graphic last week in their annual report. The darker the red, the more citizens incarcerated per capita.

Four regions have more than 500 prisoners per 100,000 people: Bahamas, Belarus, Russia, and the United States.

The first three have political issues that really put them in a different class than the United States. Democratic and human rights are hurting in the first three countries. So much so, that it might not be surprising to see so many people arrested within their borders.

This doesn't explain why the U.S. has so many prisoners.

What the graphic doesn't show is that the U.S. could be in its own category. A year ago, Glenn Loury reported:

"According to a 2005 report of the International Centre for Prison Studies in London, the United States—with five percent of the world’s population—houses 25 percent of the world’s inmates. Our incarceration rate (714 per 100,000 residents) is almost 40 percent greater than those of our nearest competitors (the Bahamas, Belarus, and Russia)." (continue...)

Could it be that there is an angry, overly-aggressive, inherently different citizenry south of the border? Unlikely.

Loury continued,

"imprisonment rates have continued to rise while crime rates have fallen because we have become progressively more punitive: not because crime has continued to explode (it hasn’t), not because we made a smart policy choice, but because we have made a collective decision to increase the rate of punishment."

It's fairly well-known that crime rates in the United States have fallen in the last two decades. Not only has it been reported on widely in the news, but incredibly thoughtful analyses have appeared in The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and in Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner.

The rising number of prisoners has also been reported on, but not nearly with the same vigor.

Loury continues,

"We have a corrections sector that employs more Americans than the combined work forces of General Motors, Ford, and Wal-Mart, the three largest corporate employers in the country, and we are spending some $200 billion annually on law enforcement and corrections at all levels of government, a fourfold increase (in constant dollars) over the past quarter century."

Money.

The money has given rise to private interests in the corrections system. I first heard about this last year in a documentary, although it's not the newest of developments. The documentary cited the stiff penalties for drug violations as the primary reason for the rise, while also saying that the privatized prison industry is the fastest growing industry in the U.S.

The privatization of U.S. prisons became significant in the early 90s. It's just been kept on the down-lo because of the obvious shady politics involved. (The same process has begun in Canada in the last few years.)

The incarceration system and process is paid for by the federal government in the U.S. The profits are gained by the private sector. No wonder there are more prisoners than ever before.

In December 1998, Eric Schlosser wrote in The Atlantic:

"The prison-industrial complex is not only a set of interest groups and institutions. It is also a state of mind. The lure of big money is corrupting the nation's criminal-justice system, replacing notions of public service with a drive for higher profits. The eagerness of elected officials to pass tough-on-crime legislation -- combined with their unwillingness to disclose the true costs of these laws -- has encouraged all sorts of financial improprieties."

Privatized prisons raise concerns about treatment, facilities, and staffing.

I wonder who thought this was a good idea... mixing the public good with private interests. The more jails the U.S. builds, the more people they put behind bars.

Further Reading: The Washington Post

The Incredible Hulk

2008-06-15T09:36:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

The Hulk, in terms of a superhero character, is, by all means, incredible. As a character.

The current manifestations of the Hulk on the big screens, however, are anything but. These movies are clear examples of why screen adapters should not stray from the comic book storylines with this character. Other comic book movies generally keeping the plot of their comic books.

The Hulk's generally accepted powers include: a) Superhuman strength, stamina, and durability; b) a Regenerative healing factor; and c) genius level intellect (in certain incarnations).

One of his powers has never extreme temporary gigantism or extreme acrobatic ability. The special effects in the movies make the character silly.

Exhibit A:

The new Edward Norton movie trailer:

Exhibit B:

The 2003 Eric Bana movie trailer:

The charm of the older character to the imaginations in us all was that it was somewhat believable that some unknown scientific experiment could create a Hulk.

Note that a clear sign of a growing shit-factor in these movies is that Marvel is making two completely different movies based on the same character within 5 years of one another. The first one couldn't have been farther off the mark. The new one doesn't go far enough from the first one.

Exhibit C:

The land of cartoons has no rules. They don't agree with gravity. They don't agree with physics. And even without such rules, there were not ludicrous growth spurts or mile long jumps with the original character. The Hulk is not supposed to be 30 feet tall. He's not supposed to be able to jump across counties.

The new incarnations just don't have the same charm, nor nearly as catchy a theme song.

Tax Freedom Day

2008-06-13T11:37:00.004-03:00

From today's Globe and Mail:

Saturday is Tax Freedom Day

The Canadian Press

June 13, 2008 at 7:31 AM EDT

VANCOUVER — Tax freedom day — the day average Canadians have paid off the year's tax load and begin working for themselves — arrives Saturday, according to the Fraser Institute.

The free-market-oriented think-tank said today that governments are letting the citizenry keep four days' worth of earnings more than last year. (continue...)

I don't want to say too much about this article. Most of the comments are positive. But look at the paragraphs near the bottom of the article.

The Fraser Institute calculates that the average Canadian family of two or more will earn $90,678 this year and pay $40,667 in taxes — 44.8 per cent of total income.

Nearly half of the work we do all year goes to the government?!?! That's half way to communism. What a racket.

To Be Sleep Deprived

2008-06-12T17:56:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

I'm an insomniac. Yawn.

It comes and goes. Usually for not much longer than a week. It can downright awful. Days sometimes ooze into one another painfully, both physically and mentally. Or sometimes it's just annoying. I try to sleep and it just doesn't work, although the next day I feel fine. Except for the constant yawning that follows me around. Yawn after yawn.

People think I'm not paying proper attention to them. Yawn. That they are boring me or something. Yawn. I have to explain that I didn't sleep well, which always sounds like a lie to someone who thinks they are boring you. But yawns are contagious, so they usually yawn, too.

My most recent bout of insomnia came earlier this week. After a quite successful band practice, my ears were ringing with the sound of bagpipes and flat drums well into the night. I was feeling energized. And then it was time to sleep and I was still energized. I didn't sleep that night. Yawned all the next day. Yawn after yawn.

Have you yawned yet? That's what I was going for by repeating 'yawn' so many times. And for the pictures.

Anyhow, the insomnia went on for a few days until last night. I was at the point yesterday afternoon where I couldn't do much of anything. So I vegged on the couch and went to bed real early.

During these few days, I noticed a few articles that popped up on Digg and Delicious. Having never gone to the doctor about my insomnia I figured reading something might be useful.

It was not.

These internet 'lifehacks' can be profoundly amusing in their deliberate obviousness.

Here is such a self-help article from EurekaAlert.org. Just in case you have no interest in clicking on the link, one of their tips for the insomniac is to "get a full night's sleep every night" ?!?!?!?!?! (Multiple interrobangs added for effect).

I wonder if the author had to go to Yale for that topical gem.

Here is another one I found from Time Magazine. Again, if you aren't interested in clicking on things despite surfing the internet, the gist of this article suggests that it's healthy to have between 6.5 and 7.5 hours of sleep a night and that veering to either side of this window is bad.

Memories of digital clocks blinking "12:00" race through my head. I've never felt so energized as the moment I wake up and realize the power went out the night before and my alarm clock has reset. One time, I got to my first year philosophy exam an hour and a bit late.... I ended up nearly failing the class. However, showing up late to the exam had no bearing on this since I was well finished ahead of the bell. One of the first ones finished actually, as I recall. Maybe this is why I almost failed. I didn't like philosophy until my fourth year.

Regardless, since we've already established that clicking on things is too difficult for the sleep depraved, I will embed this video. I find it unhelpful to the insomniac, self-proclaimed or not. It is quite funny though, even if it's not trying to be. Especially the wallpaper images at 1:34 and 2:17... they just don't make sense. Enjoy.

More Cell Phones

2008-06-12T07:24:00.005-03:00

As a follow up to yesterday. This was in the New York Times today. My phone (Motorola V3c) must be somewhere in the middle as it's not on either list.

How Much Radiation Does Your Phone Emit?

The technology news site CNET has compiled two interesting lists showing which cellphones give off the most and the least radiation.

In publishing the information, CNET editors note the data aren’t meant to imply that cellphone radiation poses a risk, nor is it meant to say that the phones are safe. As I recently reported in my Well column last week, the data on cellphone safety is mixed, although a few recent international studies have suggested a link with three types of brain tumors. The Food and Drug Administration also says there’s not enough information to determine conclusively whether cellphones are safe or unsafe.

The charts focus on the specific absorption rate, or SAR, of a cellphone, which is a way of measuring the quantity of radio frequency energy that is absorbed by the body, according to CNET.

For a phone to pass F.C.C. certification, that phone’s maximum SAR level must be less than 1.6 W/kg (watts per kilogram). In Europe, the level is capped at 2 W/kg, while Canada allows a maximum of 1.6 W/kg. The SAR level listed in our charts represents the highest SAR level with the phone next to the ear as tested by the F.C.C. Keep in mind that it is possible for the SAR level to vary between different transmission bands and that different testing bodies can obtain different results. Also, it’s possible for results to vary between different editions of the same phone (such as a handset that’s offered by multiple carriers).

Four Motorola phones top the list, with the V195s putting out the maximum 1.6 W/kg. The popular BlackBerry Curve 8330 rounds out the No. 5 spot. To see the full top 10 list, click here.

The list of lowest-radiation cellphones includes the LG KG800 and the Motorola Razr V3x, which put out 0.135 W/kg and 0.14 W/kg, respectively. To see all the lowest radiation phones, click here.

If you don’t see your phone on the list, the site includes lists of cellphones by brand name. My iPhone was listed under “other” brands, but I was interested to learn that its SAR number is 0.974.

None of this seems like enough radiatin to pop popcorn in a non-enclosed space. I wonder how they pulled that off.

This is your brain on cell phones

2008-06-11T14:45:00.002-03:00

This is your brain.

This is your brain on cell phones.

hmm... these might not be the best things to put next to your head after all.

Amusing bush Pole

2008-06-11T11:16:00.006-03:00

MSNBC is conducting a poll about whether or not President Bush should be impeached. Check it.

MSNBC seems to be becoming more and more leftish as we get closer to a Democrat being in the Oval office. Too bad the Dems aren't left enough themselves to ever impeach a President, even with such a clear mandate.

Here's Olbermann

Fox News

2008-06-10T00:52:00.005-03:00

Rupert Murdoch is basically Conrad Black on crack. Whether he meant to or not, in this video he admits that he tries to shape news content to fit an agenda rather than to tell a story the way it happens.

Here is a documentary about the Mr. Murdoch, and more than enough reasons to question everything he stands for.

A New (U.S.) Order?

2008-06-07T10:20:00.016-03:00

by jgr80

If you are age 46 or less and from the United States, you have never voted in a Presidential election that has not had a Bush or a Clinton running on the ticket.

With Creepy Hilldog out of the race, the 2008 Presidential election in the United States puts an end to two incredible dynasties. That is, if Barack doesn't choose her as his veep.

It's taken its effect on voters.

"Obama picked the right campaign slogan talking about change. I think the US is in desperate need of change not just in relation to who is running the country but also in rebuilding its identity on the world stage," says Liam Hyland, 31, of New York, NY.

Somehow two of the most dysfunctional families under the media spotlight continue to have a stranglehold on world affairs. I mean, clearly, they are full of integrity,they are honest, they are articulate, and honest.

In the early '70s, universal voting age in the U.S. was entrenched as 18 years old (it would have been interesting if it had been 8 years old).

If you were 15 years old in the last election without a Bush or a Clinton, that would be the youngest age you could be and still in the next election. Senior Bush first ran as veep to Reagan in 1980 (and won). So if you were 15 in 1977, today you would be 46. That's a long time with very little in the way of democratic choice. Heck, even if they had Blacks and Hispanics and Women and no Bushies or Clinties on the tickets before now, you still only have two parties.

The CIA estimates that the median age in the US is 36 point something. Get rid of all the youngins and that number jumps to around 43 ("youngins" denotes those aged under 15. Quite obviously, since we're talking about voting age, 18 would be a better number to use... but the CIA doesn't have that info as readily available. So there is a bit of an aberration here). The average voter in the United States doesn't know life without a Bush or a Clinton on the ticket-- without Bush or a Clinton at the head of the table.

This data is not scientific by any means, but by these statistics, it seems that the US is one of the most politically inexperienced countries in the world. This couldn't be exemplified any better than the last eight years under the current president... Junior Bush.

In Canada, for example, the CIA numbers suggest the median voting age is around 49. If you are 49 from Canada, you've been able to vote since around 1977. That's 8 federal elections, all of which had more than 2 parties-- and several new and viable parties emerging during that time, with plenty of leaders coming and going.

The U.S. has had 7 federal elections. Each controlled by two parties. All of them with a Bush or a Clinton.

The U.S. system is a recipe for political apathy (not that the constant change in Canada is a better recipe against apathy [although it's certainly better for democracy]). Everyone 46 and under has seen the same old same old every election. It's supposed to be democracy. Looks a lot like a shared monarchy.

People have been talking about change in the U.S. for a long time--say 12 years or so-- but haven't been changing the people they send there.

NHL coverage - CBC vs. NBC

2008-06-05T10:57:00.009-03:00

by jgr80

Full disclosure: I'm upset that there's no more hockey.

I suppose it's time though. I cheered on a lot of losing teams this year. And not because of any particular affinity for underdogs. It started the awful Maple Leafs... I won't comment any further about them.

I jumped on the Penguins bandwagon early on. They were always my second favourite team. I was wearing the Crosby jersey I bought in Korea for every game they played. They were still winning at that though.

Then there was Team Canada at the World's. They won every game I watched in person, which was incredible to see. Ended up losing the big dance though.

Then back to the Pens for the rest of the playoffs, only to come up short in the finals. The three teams are all lovable losers. Still... a disappointing year for hockey.

Speaking of hockey losers... how about the CBC's coverage of the NHL versus that of NBC. In previous years, the American stations just never seemed to get it together. CBC was always the station to watch.

Not this year. NBC melted the ice right out from under CBC when it came to live coverage. I'd still give a slight edge to CBC for intermission coverage since still they have Cherry.

Let's compare... Here's NBC highlights from last night. Mike Emerick and Eddie Olczyk are on the announce team.

And here is an example of CBC's coverage. I wasn't able to find anything from last night. But it's almost as though Bob Cole isn't watching the game or that he doesn't care or something. He's especially bad whenever the whistle blows and there's no action on the ice. He just kind of keeps talking (about nothing) until the puck drops again instead of letting the color guy come in with interesting tidbits about injuries or stats or whatever.

I was surprised. NBC stepped up their game. You can decide for yourself. I know this is a controversial thing to say in this country. I've always liked CBC HNIC, but NBC wins this round.

Bonne Annivairsaire, La Bolduc

2008-06-04T14:17:00.011-03:00

by jgr80

Today is the birthday of Mary Travers, La Bolduc's. She would be 114 years old. I know of La Bolduc from this:

This was always one of my favorite Heritage Moments because I noticed she sings over an Irish pipe tune.

The gal had no formal musical training. She got the tunes from her dad who taught her the instruments he knew how to play by ear. She could never read music.

Despite my fondness of the vignette, there are quite a few gaping holes in this heritage minute. The song in the video was from her 3rd recording. By then, Mr. Beaudry already knew her despite the surprise on his face.

Her first two recordings flopped. Then a 3rd recording, which had "La Cuisiniere" as the main song, changed everything. It was released for the Christmas shopping season, and before the holidays were over, she was a household name in Quebec. In the middle of the depression, on her first tour, she earned $2000.

In 1994, she was honored with a stamp by Canada Post. My first "when-I-was-your-age" moment... Stamps were 43 cents back in 1994?!

These commercials were dangerous. I remember sitting in front of that TV for hours waiting for them to come on during The Racoons...

In stead of sitting in front of the TV, I shoulda been out in the driveway practicing my slapshot...

Hmm... all this talk about what I was watching when I was a kid and I still haven't said anything about the greatest ongoing television commercial theme song ever... the Hinterland Who's Who...

Sssssplendid

Numb... nut?!

2008-06-03T15:39:00.008-03:00

I'd like to draw your attention this CBC online article.

'Guerdon' rewarding word in spelling bee

Sameer Mishra won the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington on Friday by correctly spelling the word guerdon, which appropriately means reward.

Sameer Mishra, after winning the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington on Friday. (Pablo Martinez Monsivais/Associated Press)
Mishra, 13, from West Lafayette, Ind., won $35,000 in cash, a $2,500 U.S. savings bond and thousands of dollars worth of reference books.

He's a reader, enjoys video games, has played the violin for four years in his school orchestra and wants to be a neurosurgeon.

It was his fourth appearance at the bee, after moving up the rankings from ties for 98th, 14th and 16th place in the previous three competitions.

He beat first-time contestant Sidharth Chand, 12, of Bloomfield Hills, Mich.

Sameer was coached by his sister, Shruti, a high school student and three-time bee contestant.

The last seven Canadian contestants were eliminated earlier Friday for flubbing such words as accordatura (the notes to which a stringed instrument is tuned), tonneau (an early style of touring car) and otacariasis (an infestation of the ear with mites).

"Seven up, seven down," said Pam Penny of Ancaster, Ont. Her daughter, Veronica, was one of the seven.

Frank Neuhauser, 94, who won the first bee in 1925 with gladiolus (a flower), said : "It was a lot easier back then." He only had to beat seven others; Mishra vanquished 287. " I'd never make it now," Neuhauser said.

He won $500, and was honoured with a parade in his hometown, Louisville, Ky.

There's nothing inherently special about the article. It's fairly well-written and all, it provides some decent background info, tells a heartwarming story...

But I'm not sure why a spelling bee story doesn't mention the word "numbnut." Watch the video...

(UPDATE, JUNE 2) Covered Poverty

2008-06-02T16:42:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

(Update at the bottom of this post.)

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can't scare him--he has known a fear beyond every other.
John Steinbeck - The Grapes of Wrath, Chapter 19

May 22nd

I recently made a documentary about poverty. It started out as a documentary about the homeless, but we decided to broaden the scope.

Making this movie was an eye-opening experience in more ways than one. Obviously, making my first movie had difficulties in and of itself. But getting to know the life that is being led by people so much worse off than myself and most people I know was a humbling experience.

We decided to cut the tape we had of people living on the street. There were some ethical concerns that just didn't seem to make the tape usable. The focus of the piece is more to-the-point as a result. This is not a movie about poverty, so much as it is a movie about how the media interprets poverty.

Covered Poverty on Video.ca

The film is only ten minutes. I made the film for a class, which was using certain film festival requirements. Had there been more time, the focus of the piece would have been larger to encompass some of the other interviews.

Probably the most powerful moment in the film making process for me didn't even make it in the film. I met one person living on the streets who left his family because of a drug problem. He had been on the streets for years. He's described the mob mentality there is out there between the different street people. For whatever reason, he was not well liked among other panhandlers and squeegeers in the city.

He was having a very difficult time getting off the streets. He had lost contact with his family. And the money he did make went to feed an addiction. He truly hated himself and most people around him.

When I met him, he showed me the slip from the detox centre he had gotten out of that morning. They kept him just long enough for the dilaudids to clear his system. What they didn't do was stitch up the gash on his wrist from when he attempted suicide while in their care. It was about three inches long and perpendicular to the veins running up and down his arm. They gave him about a foot and a half of gauze to tie around the wound. He pulled the gauze back to show me. The natural movement of pulling back the gauze opened up the cut a little bit. It was noticeably a few days old, and oozed pus. His veins were clearly visible. It's amazing he was alive. He had just been in the hands of government-employed medical professionals-- and they left his wrist open.

I don't understand why people find it so hard to help people in need. Sure, bad things happen everyday, and many stereotypes are there for a reason when it comes to dangerous people. But refusing someone help who needs it isn't going to help bridge the stereotypes or help get people off the street or help... anything at all.

I haven't again seen the homeless guy that showed me his cut wrist. I've been looking around for him though. I don't know that I ever will see him again. If I don't, I hope he made his way back to his family in the valley.

UPDATE: June 2
The city has just passed a controversial new panhandling bylaw.

I noticed this a few days ago. I decided to wait on posting about it because the city of Halifax has avid comment posters when it comes to news items. I wanted to see what people were saying first.

From the Saturday Herald:

An amendment to the Motor Vehicle Act making it an offence for panhandlers and squeegee kids to ask for money on roadways takes effect Sunday, and fines for breaking it range from $50 to $200.

Effectively, this new law criminalizes people on the fringes of society asking for help. Yeah, they have to pay a fine, which isn't 'criminal,' but where is that money going to come from? What happens when they don't pay fines if they don't have any other assets? More fines. Then jail. Short time to start off, then you get another fine. And the time gets longer.

This doesn't help.

Let me parallel this with a common situation from adolescent life. I recently graduated university in Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia having some the highest tuition rates in the country, I couldn't pay for it by myself, even with student loans and lines of credit. I asked for help. Parents, family, friends... whoever I could get it from. I'm asking for way more money than anyone on the street and I already have a lot more money than they do.

We both need to ask for help. I knew I was going to get it; they don't.

For some reason, this is much more of a hot-button issue in Halifax than it needs to be. There needs to be more compassion on all sides of this issue-- the police, the pandhandlers, the media, but most especially the law makers.

There are basic needs that aren't being met. People on the street aren't going to go looking for a job without an address or a steady meal. I'm broke as a joke, but I know those two things don't cost as much as the city is making it seem. HRM has enough resources to divert enough to put some folks in housing.

This always seems like such a progressive city on some topics... there are well-attended marches and vigils and protests going on every other week for international aid efforts or against the shady dealings of government. Other issues that are just as important to moving society forward, like poverty, always have the same group of people conducting any protests. But it seems like more and more people are against helping out.

There are 90-some comments listed after the article. I didn't read all of them. But check out the vitriol in some of these posts:

voiceofreality writes:
The panhandlers can collect tickets all day, they'll have little intention of paying them and the cops will have little intention of jailing them over it. What should have been done was to ticket those that give them money. Those people don't want tickets. Take away the scraps and the seagulls and rats always leave.

JDM writes:
If they get caught begging for money, let them beg for their freedom. I, for one, am sick and tired of these people harassing me at every red light in the city. We have the right to be free of this crap, so let em get fines, go to jail etc. If not go to work like the rest of us or get on social assistance programs. You don't see panhandling squirrels in the park, this kind of behavior is not normal or acceptable. It's time it came to a stop.

VESLER writes:
These people do interfere with traffic. This is a good law, it is like getting rid of mosquitoes.

Thankfully, not everyone supports the law.

Guy writes:
This is police harassment. Simple and plain. Leave them alone. They never hurt anyone. You may not like the squeegee kids. You may find them annoying. You may be full of self-righteous indignation. But that shouldn't make what they do illegal. Just wave them off and go about your day. Or maybe even... you know... say hi. Chat for a few seconds. They're not vermin. They're human beings. Like you (arguably). It's not a big deal. I'm amazed at how put out people are by these kids. It's unreal. Lighten up. And this has NOTHING to do with safely. That's a smoke screen. What they are doing is making it illegal to be poor.

We need compassion, people. Compassion.

I think the Bible said something about it.

Outrageous Land Masses

2008-05-31T21:51:00.007-03:00

by jgr80

I noticed a street sign in Pittsburgh during the opening pictures of the hockey game.

Mario Lemieux Boulevard.

Pretty good chunk of land he's got there. I don't have any land named after me. I might not have anything named after me, actually. Some people are luckier than others on this one. Mario has a little work to go...

Here's the top 6, as far as I can tell (every one of these folks probably have more than what I have listed).

6. Christopher Columbus - Italian explorer
Colombia - 440,830 sq. mi.
British Colombia - 365, 950 sq. mi.
Colombia Plateau (U.S.) - 100,000 sq. mi
10 U.S. Counties (combined) - 6,720 sq. mi
Colon (Honduras) - 3,430 sq. mi.
Colon (Panama) - 3,150 sq. mi.
District of Colombia - 70 sq. mi.
Total --- 923,350 sq. mi.

5. Abel Janzoon Tasman- Dutch explorer
Tasman Sea (Pacific) - 900,000 sq. mi.
Tasmania (Australia) - 24, 900 sq. mi.
Tasman Peninsula (Australia) - 200 sq. mi.
Total --- 925,100 sq. mi.

4. James Weddell - British Seal Hunter
Weddell Sea (Antarctica) - 1,080,000 sq. mi.

3. Maud - Queen of Norway
Queen Maud Land (Antarctica) - 1,080,100 sq. mi.
Queen Maud Mountains (Antarctica) - 15,000 sq. mi.
Queen Maud Gulf (Nunavut, Canada) - 6,000 sq. mi.
Total --- 1,102,000 sq. mi.

2. Victoria, Queen of Britain
Queensland (Australia) - 666,790 sq. mi.
Victoria (Australia) - 227,620 sq. mi.
Great Victoria Desert (Australia) - 127,000 sq. mi.
Victoria Island (Canada) - 83,000 sq. mi.
Victoria Island (Antarctica) - 60,000 sq. mi.
Lake Victoria (Africa) - 26,000 sq. mi.
Victoria Strait (Canada) - 6,000 sq. mi.
Victoria, British Colombia - 210 sq. mi.
Total --- 1,188,310 sq. mi.

1. Amerigo Vespucci, Italian Explorer
North America - 9,360,000 sq. mi.
South America - 6,883,000 sq. mi.
Total --- 16,243,000 sq. mi.

Rod Stewart Story of the Month

2008-05-31T14:16:00.010-03:00

by jgr80

I grew up on Rod Stewart. My parents are big fans. They always played Rod the Bod in the car on trips whenever I was young. There's a special spot in me for the old fella. I'd say that spot lies somewhere in 1994 or so. Before then, there were a few times in his career I'm sure he would have liked to take back. But ever since then, he's just been ridiculous.

Roderick used to be in excellent shape. In earlier times, he was a grave digger, a fence erector, and nearly a professional footballer. Rocking out from 1962 to 2001 probably kept him in pretty good shape as well.

Poor old Rodney... I guess trying to be Frank Sinatra for the last seven years has taken its toll. His newly updated tour rider calls for 2 oxygen machines. They need to be ready for him before, during, and after his sets and are to be placed near stage.

He also needs 48 FIFA Soccer balls and $16,000 of food?!

I gotta say Tom Waits does the better version. Rodlington is close though, with special thanks to the added fromage in this video.

slide whistle

2008-05-30T19:38:00.003-03:00

I got a slide whistle for christmas last year. I've been trying to learn ever since. this guy impresses me. I'm sure his meals are delicious as well.

Wii Girl Video: Incredible Aptitude followed by Impressive Ineptitude

2008-05-30T15:22:00.007-03:00

by jgr80

Maybe you've seen this video. You know the one... the one of the girl playing the hula-hoop game for her Nintendo Wii Fit.

I won't embed the video on this site because it's probably not suitable for work or around kids. But you can see it here if you like.

The video is a few days old. As of the last time I watched it, it has been watched nearly 800,000 times (it wasn't just me, I swear).

I'm fascinated with the internet, I must say. Just the mere idea of it. This video is a testament to that. I first found it on Digg. The video is called Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a Wii Fit. After I got over the initial grammar mistake in the title, one of my next thoughts was that if I had a girlfriend, it is likely I would also have a Wii Fit.

I had been duped... dupadee duped.

This video was made by an advertising company. And this is brilliant viral marketing. But dude, you let the secrets get out... you uploaded the video under the user name 'tinsleyadvertising.' What did you think was going to happen?!

The L.A. Times picked it up this morning. The guy's response appears to be more spin to me. Sure, she didn't know she was being filmed. She always plays video games in her underwear with the windows wide open.

The idea of such viral advertising is incredible and I'm happy it was thought up by someone so young. He still has time to find the error of his ways and use his smarts for something better than advertising.

PUT AN END TO CHIMPANZEE RACISM!!

2008-05-29T18:35:00.012-03:00

by jgr80

Finally!! This is up for debate:

Court Claim: Chimps Are People, Too

Jeanna Bryner
Senior Writer
LiveScience.comThu May 29, 9:55 AM ET

Matthew, a 26-year-old chimp, is headed to court in Europe as part of a human effort to classify him as a person.

Beyond the legal challenges, anthropologists say chimpanzees are not humans, though without a clear definition of what it means to be human, backing that claim up is a challenge perhaps fit for some great courtroom drama. (continue...)

The key to the entire incipience of this argument comes in the first line of the story... Perhaps unconsciously -- or maybe... nay... hopefully, completely on purpose-- the reporter regards the human fighting for the rights of this monkey, Paula Stibbe, as an imbecilic Neanderthal. Her stunningly vacuous thoughts were somehow, unbelievably, motivated into action.

Matthew, a 26-year-old chimp, is headed to court in Europe as part of a human effort to classify him as a person.

A human effort?!! for a chimpanzee to be considered a person? There have been some nasty moments in human history when it comes to getting recognition as persons. But each of these gruesome and violent fights have been fought by the individuals wanting the right. Is the chimp fighting the fight? If so, what does he think about all this?

"Everybody who knows him personally will see him as a person," Stibbe told the Evening Standard.

Oh, the monkey can't speak for himself?! interesting...

Ms Stibbe, you are a certifiable idiot. Oh, there will be a movie made about this, I am sure. How many girlfriends has he had? How many books has he read? How many seconds did you think about it before making the decision to go to court on this?

As a 26-year-old, being granted the title of 'person' would give this monkey the right to vote, run for office, own property, receive health care, etc. And not just this monkey... it would set a precedent that would spread all over the European Union. Imagine that... Look! Sarkozy's deputy has a tail!

What happens when Matthew wants emancipation from his legal guardian because her blockheadedness is causing him concern?

Everyone involved in this entire debacle is a primate for considering this. Take care of the animal. Get him a home. Feed him. Give him a happy life. Don't give him a social security card.

yup... a person

Master of the Internet

2008-05-29T00:28:00.003-03:00

Oh. Em. Gee.

I want this guy on a t-shirt.

Don Cherry on Loan

2008-05-28T21:17:00.004-03:00

Just watching the finals here and I noticed...

ESPN (which owns TSN-- a sports rival in Canada of CBC) is borrowing Don Cherry. And using CBC infrastructure to do it.

Go Penguins.

Keith Olbermann

2008-05-28T17:18:00.007-03:00

Sometimes good editorialists do bad editorials.

I usually like Olbermann's rants, and so to redeem his stature after his ridiculous Hillary Clinton speech below I thought I should post these brilliant and hilarious anti-Bush sentiments. Sorry it's divided. I couldn't find one that was one video.

Yikes

2008-05-28T16:41:00.005-03:00

Sure, it's cool now, but wait until you see Kung Fu Panda. Then you have to pay to have it removed.

Hilldog goes woof?

2008-05-28T13:38:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

Big shock. Slate reports that the sinking ship that is the life of Hillary Clinton has a 0.5% chance of success in her bid for the Democratic nomination. Whatever. American politics is a freakshow. I don't care.

I care about the media though. Remember last week... the assassination thing? RFK and Obama have more in common than people think? The I-can't-drop-out-because-my-opponent-could-die card? Right?... yes, that one...

Let's have a look, eh...

Big words mean big news at the New York Post...
The Washington Post may be a bit more balanced... a bit...
The New York Times, again, on the aftermath rather than the comment itself.

Here's what she said...

quite clearly, she is talking about the month of June, and not anything morbid.

and, again, here's how some folks decided to report it...

(haha, the flinch at 1:37)
Debates without opposition can be so one-sided. I love the end of this video when he invokes all of the political violence over the years merely to say that it should not ever be invoked.

Sure, she's had a terrible campaign, and is probably one of the most conservative candidates to run for the liberal side of America... and maybe she was out of the race long ago, but the outrage is on the same absurd parallel as when a boob blinked on stage during the superbowl.

Open your eyes.

Important Day in Canadian History - Part 2: PEI

2008-05-27T14:08:00.013-03:00

by jgr80

May 27th 1873 - The colony of PEI, which had been governing itself for over 100 years at this point since cutting administrative ties with Nova Scotia in 1769, votes to enter into Confederation. Six years after the day the four original provinces decided to huddle together, PEI was made the fifth province on July 1, 1873.

PEI was bankrupt in the years leading up to confederation, after running out of British funds from trying- quite obsequiously- to build a railroad. The government didn't want to join Canada, but needed to go somewhere or face ruin. The United States had sent envoys who parlayed with the Island, desperate for a beautiful Island territory. They would have to settle for Hawaii.

The British were tired of having to support such a tiny fraction of what remained in British North America and scaled back their finances.

And John A. MacDonald had no interest in American expansionism on both sides of Canadian soil.

MacDonald offered to buy up the railroad debt and financed the provincial government to rid itself of absentee landowners. MacDonald could have been one of the first people to use the phrase "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." And considering how slow and drunk MacDonald was, it's likely he sounded like Don Corleone... only Scottish.

By no means am I a PEI history expert. This was something I noticed here and looked into a little bit. The reason I wanted to post this was because the government's telling of PEI history is pretty bad.

I've also been thinking of a way to get some Histor!ca vignettes into a post... and this overdubbed gem commemorates events that happened right around the same time, even if they are completely unrelated.

Hmm... I'm thinking of a drinking game.

Meet Bob Barr...

2008-05-27T09:56:00.012-03:00

by jgr80

"In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." - Andy Warhol

Bob Barr is running for President of the United States. Recently, he won the right to run on the well-known Libertarian ticket.

Rather than comment on the circus that is the American politics, let's see what YouTube has to offer... Here is Barr on the stalwart, fair and balanced FoxNews. Notice the amazing..er... amusing interview skills of the reporter.

Hmm... a fairly justified and balanced argument from Mr. Barr... I like him.

What about his official statements...

Ok, ok... doesn't seem like he's running as technologically savvy a campaign as Obama, but he's part of the circus... The editing off the top suggests to me that the ad took somewhere in the range of 89 takes to finish, but hey, he's no professional actor, right!? The government should not be telling its "people how to run their businesses, buy their homes, educate their children..." Hmm.. yeah I think I like him.

Oh look, he is an actor...

Too bad he wasn't running back when the national Libertarian slogan was "a boarding school for every child, a kitchen for every wife, and a bar for every man." They could have just capitalized the 'b' and added an 'r'... it would have been the most dynamic and ironic slogan in political history. Best of luck, former Congressman. Watch out, McCain.

Important Day in Canadian History.

2008-05-26T15:02:00.006-03:00

by jgr80

Today, way back in 1879, stands as an important day in Canadian history. It was not, as far as I can tell, important to Canadian history before about 2001. Obviously, it wasn't important to the 2 3/4 year old country of Canada at the time. May 26th, 1879 is the day when Russia and England signed the Treaty of Gandamak, which set out the borders and officially recognized Afghanistan as a nation-state. That's right, two European countries decided where and what Afghanistan was.

...the Crusaders, the Mongols, the Turks, and even earlier-- the Middle East has always been a violent place. But before the British became financially involved with the Ottomans in the 1700s, the Middle East was fighting among themselves the same way Europeans and their descendants fought in revolutionary wars and the like.

In the 250 odd years since Britain became involved in the Middle East, Western powers have in some shape or form occupied Middle Eastern lands. Most grandparents in the Middle East don't have any stories to pass onto their grandchildren of better times or of hope or of anything different than being occupied in some form or another. They have always lived under worry, stress, and despair.

Until fairly recently, Western powers were always in the Middle East for Western interests. Maybe this isn't the case with Canadians in Afghanistan. Maybe a term NATO chooses not to use is 'occupation.' Either way, be it positive or negative, we, as a Western country, are in some manner perpetuating a grizzly 250 year tradition.

I recently met a serviceman who had just come back to Canada from Afghanistan. For this post, his name can be Jim (his name was not Jim). He was in Halifax at the time, a military city, and had not made his way back to his home province of Ontario, because of his duties to the military.

Over a few drinks, he explained to us (four of us in the room) his reasons, and what he believed were our military's reasons for being involved in this war. Our military is performing amazing humanitarian acts in a place that needs someone to come in and do these things. Jim told story after story of the help he and the other servicemen and women were doing, from building much needed infrastructure, adapting outdated education to the modern world, restoring law and order, and just creating a sense of normalcy.

Despite agreeing with everything Jim had to say about his experiences and beliefs about Afghanistan, there was a fundamental divide across the room between the half of the room that agreed that Canada should be in Afghanistan and the half of the room who believed the opposite.

Without getting into a long rant on the more complex idealogical beliefs circling in my head about the actions of our military... I think they are doing good things in Afghanistan, but that they should not be there, especially in the underfunded fashion that our government sends them there.

Further reading (from a variety of political backgrounds):
Michael Neumann for Counterpunch
Canada in Afghanistan: Top Ten Under-reported facts for Globalresearch.ca
Government of Canada: Rebuilding Afghanistan
CBC In Depth: Afghanistan
Thomas Walkom for TheStar.ca: Afghanistan was never Canada's War
The Globe & Mail: Canada's Mission in Afghanistan
History of Afghanistan from Wikipedia- I read a few books for a course in university about Afghan history. There is a disclaimer concerning the validity of the Wikipedia article, but it seems to be fairly accurate compared to the other things I've read.
Kevin Sites in Afghanistan

This reporter has a fantastic job

2008-05-25T22:39:00.008-03:00

by jgr80

No foul play suspected as fourth disembodied foot washes up in B.C.

ANNA MEHLER PAPERNY
From Saturday's Globe and Mail
May 23, 2008 at 10:24 PM EDT

VANCOUVER — There is no indication foul play is involved in four disembodied feet that have washed up on islands off the southwest coast of British Columbia, RCMP Constable Annie Linteau said Friday.
“We now have no information to suggest this latest … foot was forcibly removed,” she said... (continue...)

This gal wrote about the guy below who played dead as the bear was "eating his brains." She must be having a blast reporting this stuff the last week or so.

The answers from the police are precious, too. "Nope, no foul play here. Severed feet wash up all the time." I know there's a lot more LSD and weed out in BC, but how many drugs to you have to take before something that makes national news in the rest of the country seems fairly normal in your community? That's four right feet wearing sneakers-- without their owners. Personally, I've very attached to my feet.

This is happening in a secluded and small area-- and clearly, it doesn't take a detective to know that something is not adding up. But apparently BC police has detectives figuring it out. They've come up with the no violence/no foul play theory.

The spokeswoman doesn't mind adding the qualifier that she cannot give any other details about the type of sneakers or the sex of the others because it could compromise the investigation. What are they investigating that they can't tell the public if there is no foul play?

According to the detective-murder-mystery television programs I've wasted so many hours watching.... the no-violence theory means "I really don't want to continue investigating this one, Erv. Can't you put me on a new case?"

Coke

2008-05-25T13:41:00.010-03:00

by jgr80

I'm generally a vegetarian. I became one because of the energy it takes to make meat compared to grains and vegetables. The world is in an energy crisis; I just think it's responsible. Not so much because I grow a wet one over animal welfare (and although I believe that's a valid reason for being a vegetarian, it has never made me one). A friend was surprised recently that I would keep coke in a cupboard at my place since vegetarians obviously have such a healthy lifestyle.

First off, just because someone doesn't eat meat doesn't mean they don't eat cheez-whiz and oreos.

Second, just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I don't need mix.

Third, I keep coke around the house, but not for drinking. No, no. That would be gross.

I went to St.F.X and wear the ring proudly. Coke cleans it off whenever it loses its luster.
Coke cleans the grime and filth and stains off my pants whenever I'm working with grease or get grass-stains.
A little coke will cure my upset stomach during a hangover.
The internet tells me it does plenty of other medicinal things for stomachs, which I didn't know before I found out I wasn't allowed to have the stuff because of vegetarianism. Coke apparently cures diarrhea, flatulence, and constipation. (Sorry about the picture... but its just too fitting)
The internet also says that coke will strip the paint off of metal and clean blood off of clothes. Awesome.

This video is mildly related. I'm sure the people who made the video don't drink coke just like me--but for different reasons apparently. More than likely, they're vegetarians, as well-- but again, for different reasons

Are you kidding me?

2008-05-22T10:27:00.012-03:00

by jgr80

This post is about baseball, for those of you who don't care about that sort of thing.

What the deuce happened to the Blue Jays last night against the Angels? Look at the boxscore. (It's a good thing Eckstein wasn't playing, cause he's just too little and cute to badmouth... it's too bad he CAN'T play even when he's healthy)

T.O. had 11 hits to Anaheim's 4... and still lost. The worst baserunning I have ever seen. How many brainfarts does it take to wake up and get your head in the game? Between the errors, baserunning mistakes, fielding flubs... it's clearly more than ten.

And for the amount of money the Jays are spending on these guys-- especially what Rios is making-- their heads should always be in the game. Rios didn't advance to 2nd base on a passball that went 30 feet behind the catcher. So there's a runner on 1st and 3rd instead of 2nd and 3rd... Next batter: inning ending double-play instead of RBI fielder's choice. Stupid.

Speaking of double-plays... the lowly Jays grounded into three more, bringing their running total after 48 games to 58 for the season. They're on pace to smash the all-time record of 174 by about 21 (58/48*162=195). So even if you have a pile more baserunners and a pile more hits than your opponent, if you can't get them around the bases, you are going to lose.

If you want to make the playoffs, these are games you have to win. You know... the games where you outplay your opponents. Such games ones are important. These players are better than they are playing. The coach is not getting their value out of them. Fire Gibbons.

I jumped on the Red Sox bandwagon a few years ago and stopped cheering for the Jays because they were too stupid to endure for a number of years. They made offseason moves I supported and seemed like the Jays were back in business. I started cheering for them again. This is frustrating.

They have the ingredients to make a good team and keep going to the grocery store instead of getting down to cook. What is a Brad Wilkerson anyway?! and why does it get the chance to lead off the batting order?

23-25. Keep doing the country proud.

Playing Dead

2008-05-19T17:35:00.015-03:00

by jgr80

This guy must have balls as big as grapefruit... as big as small dogs.

MAN PLAYS DEAD AS GRIZZLY CHEWS
Anna Mehler Paperny

From Saturday's Globe and Mail -May 16, 2008 at 9:37 PM EDT

Like chewing the gristle on a chicken bone.

That's how Brent Case describes the grizzly bear gnawing on the back of his head.

Mr. Case was trying to play dead, hoping the bear would eventually leave him alone.

“I don't know why I didn't scream because I was in so much pain,” he said. “I wanted to scream blue murder.” (continue...)

This guy also knows how to play dead. But he has small balls - the size of small grapes.

SPANISH POLICE NAB BURGLAR PLAYING DEAD AT FUNERAL HOME

Wednesday, April 02, 2008 - Associated Press

MADRID, Spain — A burglar who broke into a funeral home tried to fool police by playing dead, but two things gave him away.

First, he breathed. Plus, he wore grungy clothes rather than the Sunday best of those dressed for eternal rest.

Police and the Crespo Funeral Home said Wednesday they have no idea what the 23-year-old Spanish man was trying to steal in the break-in March 17 in Burjassot, a small town just outside Valencia. (continue...)

Chasing that dream

2008-05-19T12:36:00.010-03:00

by jgr80

The cat was chasing a tuna can all over the floor in my family's kitchen. I rushed to find my camera.

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." Langston Hughes

As you can see, she's a pretty well-fed cat. I've seen her behave in this obsessive sort of way before-- not just over food. I've seen other domesticated animals do it as well. I think there's an instinctual call-of-the-wild part of the brain that doesn't get turned off completely in their brains. It gets flipped on in moments like these. Moments like when a cat plays with a bird or a mouse.

Keep chasing that dream, BK.

Man Spray

2008-05-19T09:45:00.013-03:00

by jgr80

Check this out:

Two major supermarkets were cordoned off by police today after a man shocked shoppers by spraying urine on the food.
The raider entered Morrisons in Glevum Way, Gloucester at around 11.20am and fired a "foul-smelling substance" - thought to be urine - on meat, salad and fruit (continue ...)

I am always amazed by the ingenuity of weird criminals. This is clearly just gross. But I still need a little more from the article. The shortcomings of structure, style, and the picture aside-- where is the info about methodology?

I was thinking originally that it would have been a classy spray bottle, intricately prepared before the trip to the supermarket, exhaling a fine mist over the unsuspecting produce with each gentle squeeze. But then there's the innocuous mention of a tube. This could obviously be a hundred different things.

They say that the man's actions posed no danger. I wonder what kind of punishment he can get just for being gross.

Call CSI.

Maritime Tattoo Festival

2008-05-18T15:42:00.008-03:00

by jgr80

Saturday marked the beginning of the Maritime Tattoo Festival.

I have no tattoos. But I've been interested for a while. It was exactly what you would think it was. People getting tattoos. People selling tattoo stuff. Lots of scary people.

Lucky Diamond Rich was there. He is the world's most tattooed man. Pretty strange sight. The man doesn't really operate on any social norms. The guy even has tattoos on the inside of his foreskin.

What else in the world could a guy like this do for a living other than tattoos and stage performing.

The World's - Part 5

2008-05-16T14:16:00.022-03:00

by jgr80

A few days ago I blogged a rather cynical remark about Canadian fans at the hockey games. Here's some pictures from the Canada vs Norway quarter final game. The last game Team Canada was to play in Halifax.

I took these pictures during gameplay in the first period. EDIT: I was told that five or so minutes into the game, the Metro Centre or the IIHF or TSN or someone of such power made the decision to give tickets away. Thousands of them. Meaning barely anyone bought tickets to see the game in the first place.

Many of the international fans that were going to every game-- lots of Latvians, gaggles of Germans, a slew of Slovenians, for example-- had left the city to go back home. Each game had a few hundred of these folks.

And sure, the game was on a Monday during a regular day's work schedule. I spoke to a lot of people who were taking work off to go to the game though.

It's funny that when an event of this caliber comes to Canada - the first nation of hockey - and our team is playing, we can't fill a 9000 seat stadium.

This comes from a so-called "hockey crazed" city that begs for huge events, especially concerts, to come to them every summer-- fighting it out with the other cities in the region, creating unnecessary rivalries about municipal governments. If I were a promoter looking in the stands at this event, I wouldn't be thinking of lots of people coming out to The Commons to see Celine Dion or The Eagles.

Once they did get a few more bums in the seats, the fans were pretty good. They cheered and jeered as one would expect.

At the end of the game, Team Canada - as they had throughout the tournament - thanked the fans. They thanked a little longer this time, as it was their last game in Halifax. Overall, the fans were pretty good when the team needed them. There was a big penalty kill against the USA --lasting nearly 6 minutes-- that would have been real tough for the Canadians to kill without the fans.

The biggest thing about the fans for me, was that they were so negative about everything compared to international fans. The international fans cheered their team no matter if they were winning or losing. The Canadian fans didn't cheer for their team so much as they booed the refs and booed other teams.

As you can see, the stands filled up a bit more by the end of the game.

The World's - Part 4

2008-05-13T17:04:00.025-03:00

by jgr80

Stephen Harper was at the Canada vs. Finland game.

At the 2nd whistle or so (because the first whistle was a Canada goal) they showed him on the jumbotron so that everyone could be in awe of his presence. Some people booed. Others looked around to find where he was.

I knew he was in attendance before the game began. So I didn't jump on this right away. I had announcing stuff to do. But it was one of those things I was told for encouragement.

IIHFGuy This is important. It's the Canada Finland game. They both finished first. Do a good job.
JGR80 OK.

IIHFGuy The Prime Minister's here, so you have to do a good job. Don't be nervous.
JGR80 OK. That would make me more nervous if I voted for him. But I don't care.

At about two minutes into the first period, a wayward puck goes into the stands about 10 rows over my right shoulder.

The first thing over the radio is panic.

RADIO the puck hit the prime minister. (pause...)

JGR80(soliloquy) Oh geez. This should make for funny news tomorrow. Did the Finnish player shoot it? Could be an incident.

RADIO (still pausing...) The guy's a right-wing. He shouldn't have been on that side of the ice.

Hardy har har.

...

First intermission rolls around though and I figured it might be neat to get a picture since he's doing non-stop photo-ops when the game is not on. I am the announcer after all. Maybe I can skip the line-up.

I get real close to the head of the line. And the most bizarre thing happens.

My phone rings. Fine. Whatever. The phone rings all the time. I'm in line to get the picture. I'm not answering it. Then one of his handlers makes it his business.

HARPERBODYGUARD Could you please answer your phone, sir?

JGR80 I'll call em back. I don't want to bug the other folks in line.

HARPERBODYGUARD Answer your phone, sir. Please step over here.

He shuffled me out of line. I didn't get my picture. This was the best I could do.

The puck didn't hit him. He did sit right beside Rodney MacDonald who posed for a total of 0 pictures during intermissions.

The World's - Part 3

2008-05-13T11:11:00.010-03:00

by jgr80

Cosmic Carousal is not a hockey blog. Just so happens I've been spending a lot of time at the rink. There are actually a few other writers signed on to post, who will likely never mention hockey unless it is to make fun of my earlier posts. They will be here shortly.

This post is also related to hockey.

There are a lot of breaks in the games. There are the regular ones that anyone who understands hockey would expect... goals, whistles, period ends, etc. But with televised games, there are also commercials.

For all the millions of people watching around the world, there are thousands of people in the game arena. There's not enough time during a commercial to go for a beer. There's nothing happening on the ice. It's just enough time to make those drunk fans I blogged about the other day really upset.

Well, the jumbotron usually gets in on the action. Most of the time its a generic animation telling the fans to "make noise" or "get loud" or "clap hands." Some people pay attention to these (drunk fans), and the others (non-drunk fans) turn to whoever they're sitting with and jock-talk about the game.

Those pesky jumbotron guys likes to switch it up though. They do a 50/50 announcement. They do advertisements. They do replays. My personal favorite is the "Kiss Cam." Insert video here.

This was not even one of the more entertaining episodes of the IIHF "Kiss Cam." It was just the one that I was prepared to video. The things come without warning. I had been planning on it for a few games.

There is always a build-up in tension... Somehow the camera men are able to keep the funniest couple to the end.

During one game, they decided to put the two guys doing the stats work in the penalty box on the cam. Which was only funny to the people who knew them. I was lucky enough to be one of the people who found it funny.

One time they put two drunk male fans on screen. They didn't bite.

One time they put two females on screen. They bit. For about five seconds. It was cool.

Sometimes they put up people and no one realizes they're on screen. Like five couples in a row. No one kissing. The bit nosedives from the jumbotron right to centre ice. Then they go to canned footage of Homer and Marge making out at various times throughout The Simpsons.

But one time... they put a couple up on screen... one of the first ones, too, so it wasn't the big finish by any means... The guy on camera turns to the camera man, looks straight into the camera and says "SHE'S MY SISTER!" Dude was horrified. The crowd laughed harder than at anything else in any other game I was at.

The World's - Part 2: The first Game

2008-05-11T23:52:00.010-03:00

by jgr80

I blogged yesterday that I lost the announce gig but was promptly reinstated. So I had been watching the tournament for a few days just waiting to get the call. My first game was to be Friday at 4:30. Finland and Latvia.

So like any good script reader, I was practicing the night before. Some familiar names, lots of unfamiliar names and I didn't want to make a goof of myself by not pronouncing them correctly. This was necessary. The names weren't easy.

Didn't take lots of practice, but it was still important to go over.

I get a call in the morning.

Now I'm a bit of a nighthawk. I was up late for no real reason other than I didn't have to be up all that early.

The call comes at about 11:30. The call wakes me up.

It's the tournament organizer.

ORGANIZER The announcer for the early game is at the doctor. We need you here now. The first announcement is in 10 minutes. Can you do it?

JGR80 Yes I can.
JGR80BRAIN No, you can't.
JGR80 ... yes... I... can...

JGR80 The next bus comes in a few minutes. I can be there in like 30 minutes.

ORGANIZER I'm sending a car.

The game is between Slovakia and Slovenia. Eeek, no practice.

So now I'm not prepared for my first game and have 3 minutes to fill in the blanks of the script and make the first announcement. I'd love to say that I had the wherewithal to pull it off without a hitch.

There were many hitches. Big ones. Big enough that if the hitches were on a wall or cliff somewhere, they would not only be big enough to support the weight of a climber, the climber would have enough room to set-up base camp.

Not only did I not know the names, I didn't realize the mic I was using was not the kind of mic I'm used to using. Doing the broadcast thing with radio and tv, I'm fairly used to using a directional type of mic to read into... Nope. Didn't realize this til halfway through the first.

The announcer's mic, which clearly makes sense in an arena, is a noise reduction mic. The kind rock bands use. So the singer can get pretty clear vocals and not pick up the sound from the other instruments. Which is why rock band vocalists sing with the mic in their mouths. Because it doesn't pick up sound very well even a few inches away.

I held the mic a few inches away until about half way through the first.

No one in the arena heard the starting line-ups, or any of the other huge spiel at the beginning of the game.

The second game was better. No hitches.

The World Hockey Championships - Part 1

2008-05-11T17:21:00.031-03:00

by jgr80

The World Hockey Championships are being held in Halifax this year. I stumbled upon this gig, a few weeks ago, where I get to make announcements during the games. There was a bit of an audition and stuff, and I got the job.

During the week, I had been helping my uncle get ready for the lobster season 2.5 hours out of town. I had to correspond over email about the announcing and make trips back to Halifax when I needed to be at the arena.

Then there was the practice game. The TV guys are all there to make sure everything runs smoothly, the performers are doing mic checks, the referees are making sure the ice is up to snuff, the announcers are going through the scripts, etc.

And then I lost the job.... only really finding out when I got back to Halifax. Having been on the water that morning, it was a rushed trip back to the city, only to find out I wouldn't be working.

A crushing defeat.

And then on the second day of the tournament, I was reinstated. the 3rd stringer role. Meaning I do a lot of watching hockey from the front row at centre ice while someone else makes the announcements in the chair beside me. And I do a little announcing as well-- there's like 25 games in Halifax, I work about 4 of them.

The tournament is a two week cluster of hockey, celebrities, parties, etc. I find myself thrown into the middle of it without having done much to get there or doing a whole lot to stay. This provides tons of time to observe......

John Ferguson Jr and Lindy Ruff would rather sit in seats with the fans at this event than the primo boxes or primo VIP seats.
Steve Yzerman walks with his head down in what appears to be either a lack of confidence (unlikely) or he's trying not to be recognized (more likely). He was recognized, and his hand was shaken. He was not wearing any oversized championship rings.
Pat Burns likes beers at hipster bars. Not sports bars. Not meat markets. He told me so. Over a beer. He was wearing oversized championship rings.
Jean Beliveau is an incredible person to see. Just to see. No hand shake. No shared experience. Just a hello. I think my jaw dropped and I responded with an awed primordial grunt of some kind. He did not wear oversized championship rings. Although, I find this reasonable since I only counted 12 fingers.
From Wikipedia - "Beliveau's name appears on the Stanley Cup a record seventeen times, including seven times as an executive for the Canadiens 1973, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, 1986, 1993." [1]
Drunk fans smile a lot more while on the Jumbotron than sober fans. (these links have nothing to do with hockey, btw)
2/5ths or more of the attendance misses the opening faceoff, even when Canada is playing.
Pro Hockey players are much dirtier in real life than on TV, figuratively and literally.
Int'l fans love their country's team; CDN fans dislike teams from other countries.

I got a bit of a promotion after the last game I announced. Rather than announcing a game with teams who's countries names both end with '-ia', I will be announcing Canada vs. Finland on Monday. A slight change of pace, indeed. The teams both finished first in their pools.