Happy Canada Day, Mats Sundin.

by jgr80

For some Canadians (I certainly feel a divide on this one), July 1st is a day to celebrate for a reason other than our nation's birth.

Those same Canadians may also be quite upset for the same reason.... Perplexed? Well, clearly it's unrestricted free agent day in the NHL. Something nearly as important as Canada Day to die-hard hockey fans.

Now a lot of people will be talking about Marian Hossa. A lot of people will be talking about Brian Campbell... and while I like both of these players, don't be fooled. The big name is my boy Mats.

I've had a lot of people annoy the crap out of me the last two weeks or so with the silly dialogue about Mats vs. TML vs. Montreal Girlymen. The headline and a few sentences in this article from this morning suggest Mats won't sign with Montreal, although there is clearly some doubt in the rest of the article. Hell, we may find out in the next couple of hours.

Well, I quite like the graceful slide of a Sundin stride down the ice towards a Montreal net. That is, while he's playing offense for the Leafs, rather than defense for Les Habitants (which is stupidest name in all of professional sports... even worse than all those silly Major League soccer teams like the New York Red Bulls, or the Columbus Crew, or the Football Club Dallas).

No. I will take the high-road on this one. Mats is/was an excellent player for Toronto and does/did a lot of great things for the team. The only negative thing I will say is that if he signs with Montreal he is a scum-sucking vaginoplasty patient who deserves to burn for deserting-- nay betraying-- the cause of all-things-Montreal-must-perish-from-horrible-sports-related-injuries. You already found out early in your career Quebec is not the place for a Swede. If you don't play for Toronto, go somewhere else or may all the wrath of Toronto fans follow you around like a plague throughout the league. There will be curses laid on all things Sundin and all things Montreal throughout the land. The permanent place you've earned among the verdant fields of Elysium will be replaced by the 8th circle of Hell.

But I'm not bitter.

In Korea, there are far too many people of the same name for Westerners to keep things straight. So rather than embarrass myself while I was teaching over there-- just like all the other teachers-- I gave them Western names. I named a lot of them after friends and family... named a lot of them after cartoon characters and comic book characters... but my favorite little guy didn't get an English at all. He was of Swedish-Korean decent and was named Mats. He didn't know a word of English when he started. He knew at least 13 words a lesson.

It would be a cold day in Elysium if I were not able to cheers for Mats Sundin.



More goals than Teemu Selanne, Ron Francis, Rocket Richard, Jean Beliveau, or Daryl Sittler.
More assists than Chris Chelios, Niklas Lidstrom, Larry Robinson, or Jean Beliveau.
None of it means a thing with that other sweater on.