This just in.

These quickie news channels really need more communication between the ad department and the news department.

Man caught bringing 9 grams of marijuana into prison wrapped around penis claims misunderstanding.

Every once and a while, there is some interesting news in Nova Scotia.

Police catch man who hid marijuana around penis

PAUL MCLEOD, METRO HALIFAX

June 17, 2008 05:00

Getting caught with marijuana by police is bad enough. But the drug arrest of John Christopher Williams, 34, was particularly embarrassing.

Williams has a lengthy criminal record and had failed to show up for court dates more than once, leading to a warrant for his arrest. When police found and arrested him they didn’t find any drugs on him and Williams didn’t say anything.

It was only when he was being checked in to prison that guards discovered nine grams of marijuana wrapped around his penis. Williams says it was all a misunderstanding.

He appeared yesterday in Dartmouth Provincial Court under charges of smuggling drugs into prison.

His lawyer said Williams now realizes he should have told police about the pot sooner. He was sentenced to thirty days in prison.

Hhhmmm... a clever one-liner to appropriately make fun and demonstrates insight....

'During the frisking, guards found the drugs when Williams got a spliffy.'

Yup, that oughta do it.

I always heard the best pot was in jail, anyway. Listen to Ricky about 30 sec into the clip.

PUT AN END TO CHIMPANZEE RACISM!!

by jgr80

Finally!! This is up for debate:

Court Claim: Chimps Are People, Too

Jeanna Bryner
Senior Writer
LiveScience.comThu May 29, 9:55 AM ET

Matthew, a 26-year-old chimp, is headed to court in Europe as part of a human effort to classify him as a person.

Beyond the legal challenges, anthropologists say chimpanzees are not humans, though without a clear definition of what it means to be human, backing that claim up is a challenge perhaps fit for some great courtroom drama. (continue...)

The key to the entire incipience of this argument comes in the first line of the story... Perhaps unconsciously -- or maybe... nay... hopefully, completely on purpose-- the reporter regards the human fighting for the rights of this monkey, Paula Stibbe, as an imbecilic Neanderthal. Her stunningly vacuous thoughts were somehow, unbelievably, motivated into action.

Matthew, a 26-year-old chimp, is headed to court in Europe as part of a human effort to classify him as a person.

A human effort?!! for a chimpanzee to be considered a person? There have been some nasty moments in human history when it comes to getting recognition as persons. But each of these gruesome and violent fights have been fought by the individuals wanting the right. Is the chimp fighting the fight? If so, what does he think about all this?

"Everybody who knows him personally will see him as a person," Stibbe told the Evening Standard.

Oh, the monkey can't speak for himself?! interesting...

Ms Stibbe, you are a certifiable idiot. Oh, there will be a movie made about this, I am sure. How many girlfriends has he had? How many books has he read? How many seconds did you think about it before making the decision to go to court on this?

As a 26-year-old, being granted the title of 'person' would give this monkey the right to vote, run for office, own property, receive health care, etc. And not just this monkey... it would set a precedent that would spread all over the European Union. Imagine that... Look! Sarkozy's deputy has a tail!

What happens when Matthew wants emancipation from his legal guardian because her blockheadedness is causing him concern?

Everyone involved in this entire debacle is a primate for considering this. Take care of the animal. Get him a home. Feed him. Give him a happy life. Don't give him a social security card.


yup... a person