To Be Sleep Deprived

by jgr80

I'm an insomniac. Yawn.

It comes and goes. Usually for not much longer than a week. It can downright awful. Days sometimes ooze into one another painfully, both physically and mentally. Or sometimes it's just annoying. I try to sleep and it just doesn't work, although the next day I feel fine. Except for the constant yawning that follows me around. Yawn after yawn.

People think I'm not paying proper attention to them. Yawn. That they are boring me or something. Yawn. I have to explain that I didn't sleep well, which always sounds like a lie to someone who thinks they are boring you. But yawns are contagious, so they usually yawn, too.

My most recent bout of insomnia came earlier this week. After a quite successful band practice, my ears were ringing with the sound of bagpipes and flat drums well into the night. I was feeling energized. And then it was time to sleep and I was still energized. I didn't sleep that night. Yawned all the next day. Yawn after yawn.

Have you yawned yet? That's what I was going for by repeating 'yawn' so many times. And for the pictures.

Anyhow, the insomnia went on for a few days until last night. I was at the point yesterday afternoon where I couldn't do much of anything. So I vegged on the couch and went to bed real early.

During these few days, I noticed a few articles that popped up on Digg and Delicious. Having never gone to the doctor about my insomnia I figured reading something might be useful.

It was not.

These internet 'lifehacks' can be profoundly amusing in their deliberate obviousness.

Here is such a self-help article from EurekaAlert.org. Just in case you have no interest in clicking on the link, one of their tips for the insomniac is to "get a full night's sleep every night" ?!?!?!?!?! (Multiple interrobangs added for effect).

I wonder if the author had to go to Yale for that topical gem.

Here is another one I found from Time Magazine. Again, if you aren't interested in clicking on things despite surfing the internet, the gist of this article suggests that it's healthy to have between 6.5 and 7.5 hours of sleep a night and that veering to either side of this window is bad.

Memories of digital clocks blinking "12:00" race through my head. I've never felt so energized as the moment I wake up and realize the power went out the night before and my alarm clock has reset. One time, I got to my first year philosophy exam an hour and a bit late.... I ended up nearly failing the class. However, showing up late to the exam had no bearing on this since I was well finished ahead of the bell. One of the first ones finished actually, as I recall. Maybe this is why I almost failed. I didn't like philosophy until my fourth year.

Regardless, since we've already established that clicking on things is too difficult for the sleep depraved, I will embed this video. I find it unhelpful to the insomniac, self-proclaimed or not. It is quite funny though, even if it's not trying to be. Especially the wallpaper images at 1:34 and 2:17... they just don't make sense. Enjoy.